《老友记》里的污梗

《老友记》里的污梗

全文来自谷大白话的付费回答,留存,以后再看美剧时对照。

《老友记》里有很多被人忽略的黄暴段子。甚至时常看到有人说“F6是纯洁的喜剧”“2.5Men太三俗,你看人家老友记多健康”。这种误解的主要原因是,《老友记》年代太早,翻译版本都比较粗糙,不少三俗笑点被丢掉。比如S3E23里的一段:

Ross: I was in the shower, and I felt something. Chandler: Was it like a sneeze, only better? 『我洗澡时忽有所感。』『是不是像打了个喷嚏,但比那棒多了?』 这句字面上看起来没什么,但观众为啥会笑呢?因为小钱钱的意思并非『打喷嚏』而是『打飞机』。

类似的黄暴段子我总结过80多个。这里挑比较好玩的30个列出来。由于篇幅有限,我直接给关键词答案。

S2E19

Rachel: How do expect me to grow, if you won’t let me blow?

Ross: You know I don’t have a problem with that.

Rachel说的是『吹风』Ross指的是『口交』

S2E06

Joey: My Uncle Sal has a really big tongue.

Chandler: Is he the one with the beautiful wife?

小钱钱说Joey叔叔『口活好』

S2E04

Chandler: This is the craziest typing test I’ve ever seen.

Monica: She better get the job.

Ross: Looks to me like he’s the one getting the job.

Ross说的是『口交』

S1E01

Ross: She always drank it out of the can. I should have known it.

Ross说『她喝饮料都是直接对罐喝,我早就该看出(她是拉拉)』。这里暗示的是给女性『口交』。

S6E09

Ross: Oh my God. The pages are stuck together.

Joey: Chandler!

Joey的意思是『打飞机』导致书页粘在一起。

S10E13

Monica: Well, it turns out that Erica didn’t pay much attention in sex ed class, because the thing she did with that prison guy, it’d be pretty hard to make a baby that way.

Chandler: Oh God, what was it? The thing that we hardly ever do or the thing we never do?

Monica: The thing we never do.

Chandler: Shovelly Joe.

莫妮卡说的是『爆菊花』

S3E20

Monica: But no, it was to be looked at but never played with.

Chandler: My grandmother used to say that exact same thing to me.

莫妮卡在说玩偶屋。小钱钱说的是『小丁日』。

S3E08

Joey: Remember, something this big and long can be very difficult to maneuver. Fortunately, I have a lot of experience in that area.

看似在说筷子,其实Joey在夸自己丁日长。

S6E14

Chandler: You didn’t get more movies that are gonna have us reaching for the tissues all night long did you?

Joey: Sort of.

需要纸巾的电影,你猜是言情片还是A片?

S1E21

Joey的艺名Holden McGroin,『抓我下体』。

——————

S5E16

Rachel: Whoa, what’s that?

Ross: Oh, that’s me.

Rachel: Wow. You certainly think a lot of yourself.

Ross: No, that’s my arm.

Chandler: Oh, I see. I thought you just really, really liked your new couch.

勃起梗。Rachel认为Ross吹牛X,小钱钱嘲讽Ross看到新沙发欲火焚身。

S4E01

Rachel: Hey, just so you know, it’s not that common, it doesn’t happen to every guy, and it is a big deal!

Chandler: I knew it!

这是『We were on a break』Ross摔门而去那段里面让很多人费解的一段黑话。Rachel到底在黑Ross什么?而小钱钱怎么又深有同感了?其实这里说的是『不举』。

S1E04

Monica: Hey Joey, what would you do if you were omnipotent?

Joey: Probably kill myself.

Monica: Excuse me?

Joey: Hey, if little Joey’s dead, then I got no reason to live.

Ross: Joey, omnipotent.

Joey: You are? Ross, I’m so sorry. I had no idea. I thought it was like a theoretical question.

Joey一直听成I’m impotent.『我阳痿』

S5E13

Joey: But it is odd how a woman’s purse looks good on me, a man. Rachel: Exactly, unisex!

Joey: Maybe you need sex. I had sex a couple days ago.

Rachel: No, no, Joey. U-N-I-sex.

Joey: Well, I ain’t gonna say no to that.

谐音梗You need sex. You and I sex.

S2E14

Joey: Oh, and do you have any idea what this will do for your sex life?

Chandler: Well, it’ll probably slow it down at first, but once I get used to the extra weight I’ll be back on track.

Joey说的是手镯能帮钱钱泡妞。小钱钱说的是『打飞机』。

S3E08

Rachel: If it’s not a headboard, it’s just not worth it.

Rachel不小心撞了头,她说『如果不是床头板的话,那撞得就太不值了』。指的是嘿咻过程中嘿得太嗨,女生脑袋撞到床头板。

S4E07

Rachel: I just had a great time with my self.

Chandler: Well, this could be a good story.

小钱钱说的是『自慰』

S2E15

Ross: Australopithecus was never fully erect.

Chandler: Maybe he was nervous.

跟Homo erectus那个梗接近,这里小钱钱把erect当成了勃起。

S4E02

Chandler: What the hell happened? How are you locked in there? Where the hell’s all of our stuff?

Joey: Well, this guy came by to look at the unit, and he said he didn’t think it wasn’t big enough to fit a grown man.

Chandler: So, you got in voluntarily?

Joey: I was trying to make a sale. You know, if I ever run into that guy again, you know what I’m going to do?

Chandler: Bend over?

小钱钱的意思是『附身献菊花』

S6E03

Joey: I’m going to say a word, and then you say the first thing that comes to mind.

Girl: I can do that.

Joey: Okay. Here we go. Pillow.

Girl: Fight.

Joey: Very good. Okay, G.

Girl: String?

Joey: Excellent. Okay, doggy.

Girl: Kitten?

Joey: Oooh, sorry. So close though. But you know, bye bye.

这是Joey面试室友那一段。女生回答kitten错误的原因是,正确答案是style,doggy style,后入式。

————

S2E15

Rachel: Oh honey, that’s okay. It doesn’t matter.

Ross: What? Oh no, you just rolled over the juice box.

Rachel: Oh, thank God.

两人第一次亲热。Rachel以为Ross太激动『早泄』了。

S4E11

莫妮卡seven那段结束之后。几个人都默默回到自己房间。去『打飞机』了。

S7E03

Rachel: How do you get the main sail up?

Joey: Uh, rub it?

Joey听到up就想到三俗。『撸它?』

S5E11

Ross: I’m gonna make myself happy.

Chandler: Do you want us to leave the room?

Ross说想让自己开心。小钱钱说的是他要『打飞机』。

S8E24

Cliff: Wow. I usually get to know a girl a little better before I let her spoon me.

Phoebe: Relax, it’s not like we’re forking.

菲比的f-word谐音梗。

S4E07

Chandler: Come in, have a seat. Bow or stern?

Kathy: I don’t really have a preference. You?

Chandler: I like it in the stern. Of the boat.

bow和stern是船头船尾。这里小钱钱又三俗了『我喜欢后面』。

S4E24

Judy: Oh sorry we’re late. My fault. I insisted on riding the tube.

Jack: Judy. The kids.

Judy: Jack, that’s what they call the subway.

莫妮卡他妈说的是『坐地铁』,他爸想的是『啪啪啪』。tube也有管子的意思。

S1E14

Pheobe: And now we need the semen of a righteous man.

Rachael: Well, if we had that we wouldn’t be doing the ritual in the first place.

几个闺蜜在求桃花运。菲比说需要正直好男人的精液。Rachel说,咱要是能搞到这玩意,哪还用求桃花啊!

S2E21 Multi-Meaning Tattoo

Monica: You know, my motto is ’get out before they go down.’

Joey: That is so not my motto.

Joey的意思是先睡了再跑

S2E11

Monica [to Ross]: All right, ball a melon!

Chandler: How come I’m stuck dicing when he gets to ball a melon?

小钱钱抱怨Ross的工作比他的好。ball a melon字面意思是给蜜瓜挖成球。三俗意思melon是咪咪,所以这里也暗示『乳交』。

类似的还有很多,有些甚至没有台词,只靠表情和动作就能黄暴了。表情比如某次Rachel问Ross:Hey, you know what we never did? Ross立刻欣喜得两眼放光,然后Rachel说: Oh, no. Not that. 动作比如,用手来比划丁日大小那次。《老友记》编剧曾经表示,他们每天坐在一起都在想黄段子,以及怎样把黄段子巧妙地放进台词。所以只要用心去找,你肯定还能发现很多最开始看时错过的精彩。